Minnesota had Jesse “The Body” Ventura, California has its “Governator” Schwarzenegger, and now Michigan can boast the dubious distinction of its own cleverly coined politician: Sen. “Smokestack” Patty Birkholz.

So what do we really know about Senator Birkholz? We know that she’s a Republican from Michigan’s 24th district; she’s a woman who seems to keep her nails trim and her hair neat. She has a simple, unremarkable sense of style. And from the looks of her recent role in the Senate’s energy bill, she’s a person whose insatiable appetite for fossil fuels should cast her out to live among wild mastodons, dressing in saber-tooth tiger skin fashions every day before saddling up Smoky, her pet triceratops, to ride to work on the Capitol. Yes, my friends, Patty Birkholz is hell-bent on keeping Michigan stuck in the Jurassic age, and her tendencies towards coal-ophilia seem to verify this monstrous truth.

Two weeks ago, when Sen. “Smokestack” Birkholz and her Big Coal Stooges in the Michigan Senate voted to keep Michigan locked in the dark ages of coal dependency, they simultaneously sent a signal to the rest of the world that we here in the mitten are not serious about moving forward with an investment in renewable energy and cutting-edge energy efficiency, or even about satisfying our state’s desperation for a diverse economy based on 21st century, good-paying jobs. In a completely boneheaded move, they even defined coal as “renewable,” putting it in the same category as real renewables like wind and solar power.

Michigan has reached an important crossroads, and we are all facing a real choice: we can either move our energy production and consumption into the future, or we can continue to cling to the past, relying on resources straight out of the Industrial Revolution to power our state. Come to think of it, coal has a lot of problems; way more than simply being old and unfashionable:

·         Investing in coal will create far fewer jobs than renewable energy will: in fact, Michigan stands to gain 46,000 new jobs if we choose to invest in renewable energy and efficiency

·         It will hurt jobs and the economy. States like Pennsylvania and Texas – even gun-toting, oil worshipping Texas – have done more to embrace renewable energy and seen thousands of jobs added to their state-wide employment rates. That’s thousands more than coal will create

·         Major banks like Chase, JP Morgan, and Morgan Stanley have backed out of financing coal projects, due to concerns over the inherent costs and risks involved

·         Not only is coal bad for jobs and bad for the economy, but it harms public health and contributes to global warming. Cardiovascular disease, asthma, chronic respiratory problems and premature deaths caused by air pollution from these plants cost Americans an estimated $160 billion every year in health-care expenses

·         Coal is a leading contributor to global warming. A typical coal-fired plant emits 3.7 million tons of CO2 in the Earth’s atmosphere annually

What’s more, a consistent reliance on coal-fire will send much of our hard-earned money out of state and – as mentioned above – send a powerful signal to the rest of the contemporary world that Michigan isn’t serious about investing in 21st century jobs and becoming a part of the world’s energy future. And the recent actions of Smokestack Patty and her sooty, fossil-fueled ilk are firmly placing Michigan in the “clinging to the past” column.

It’s unfortunate that Senator Birkholz has chosen to wield her power in such a way that will seriously disable Michigan’s energy future when she could be acting in the interest of pushing our state forward. As we’ve seen, investing in 21st century clean energy has already moved other states forward. Take Texas and Pennsylvania: two of the 23 states that have already planned a Renewable Energy Standard, and are consequentially presented with the same opportunities for growth that we here in Michigan should be embracing, too. Shame on Smokestack Patty and her coal-loving cronies for pandering to dinosaur, coal-burning energy giants instead of moving our state forward. In order to embrace the future and recast Michigan as a leader in emerging industries, we need to accept more clean energy alternatives that will propel our state forward.

To learn more about how to stop Sen. “Smokestack” Patty, please go to http://www.smokestackpatty.com. Help set Birkholz straight, and to kick coal to the curb by keeping it where it belongs: tucked away in the pages of history.